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Karlos the Jackal

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THE GROSSEST THING I WILL EVER TELL YOU [Aug. 19th, 2010|12:44 am]
Karlos the Jackal

Okay, so let's talk about my open wound.

I was sent home from the hospital on Saturday afternoon with an open wound in my abdomen.  This was done on purpose!  The idea, you see, is that the wound must heal from the inside out; if the outside heals first, then there will be stuff trapped inside (bacteria, dust, sugar gliders) and the surgery site will get infected.  So they have to make sure that the outside incision does not heal for a period of a week or so after the surgery.  How do they do that?

Here's how:  the slice is held closed with three loose stitches.  In between these stitches, into my appendix hole, are stuffed "sani-strips" -- thin strips of fabric.  These "sani-strips" stick out of the wound, preventing it from healing.  Every day, I pull out a little more of the strips and trim off the edge.  The strips wick blood and other fluid away from the wound, and pulling them out bit by bit helps get junk out from the inside of the cavity as well.  As they come out, marbled with gore, they look like bacon made from tapeworms.

By the time all four of these strips are pulled out completely, the inside of the wound should be healed up enough for the closing of the wound itself to commence.  I have pulled out three of them so far (each time expecting some sort of prize -- a tiny charm, perhaps -- attached to the end), so the fourth one should be coming out pretty soon, unless the doctors put in an extra long one just to fuck with me.


[User Picture]From: paulcarp
2010-08-19 09:00 am (UTC)
Mmmm. Bacon.

Or, on a more serious note, yuck.
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[User Picture]From: arallara
2010-08-19 10:32 pm (UTC)
Oh good god. I can't believe you have to do that to yourself. I can't even. Good luck with that, my friend. *shudders*

Again, though, glad you didn't die! I guess if some gross after-care is what's called for now, that's a reasonable trade off.
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[User Picture]From: jkling
2010-09-12 06:15 am (UTC)
Is it wrong of me to think that that's pretty awesome? I'm kind of sick that way. Of course I'm also a medical writer and I appreciate a great description when I read it.

I hope you're still on the mend.
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